My Story

Beyond My Record Part 1 :

The First time I was Arrested

I was just trying to go to a football game.

That’s what sticks with me most. It was supposed to be a normal night just me, some people I thought were cool, and a game. But deep down, my intuition told me not to go. I ignored it. They wanted to smoke in the car, and even though I didn’t want to, I brushed it off and said “whatever.” I was used to doing that .. ignoring myself to fit in.

We pulled up and parked just off the parking deck. That’s when the cops came.

They said it was for probable cause for the smell of marijuana. They searched my car. They found crumbs of weed…literally, crumbs. Then they started going through my trash and found a Xanax I’d completely forgotten was in there. Just like that, I was charged with:

• Possession of marijuana

• Drugs not in original container

• Possession of a Schedule IV substance

They took me in on the spot. No warning. No explanation. My dad showed up while I was on the phone with him, and before I could even speak, they grabbed my phone and threw it in the car. I felt like an animal like the second I made a mistake, I became worthless in their eyes.

There was one officer I’ll never forget. He sat me down. He told me I could change my life. That he used to be like me, he said it would be harder.. but I could do it. At the time, I was high, scared, and confused, so it didn’t hit me. But when I stepped out of jail, it all clicked.

I didn’t realize I had just caught a felony charge.

I didn’t realize I had just entered a system that was never built to help me.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know and that lack of knowledge almost cost me my future.

When I got home, my parents were crying. Not just because I got arrested but because they knew what I had just stepped into. They knew what this system does to people who look like me. They knew how hard it is to get out once you’re in.

What no one talks about is the before.

The decisions that led up to that moment were rooted in trauma.

I was a teenager dealing with abandonment, bullying, unmet emotional needs, and a craving to be seen.

I wanted to feel understood.

I wanted to belong.

And I thought I found that in people and choices that ultimately led me down the wrong path. Although, I regret nothing.

My first arrest didn’t just wake me up to the system it made me realize how unprepared I was for it.

No one taught me my rights.

No one taught me the laws.

No one warned me about the trapdoor of mass incarceration that’s waiting for so many of us.

And that’s why I speak now. That’s why I’m writing this.

Because I know I’m not the only one who’s ever felt like they were punished for being unprotected.

This experience…this system…shaped my view of justice. It made me realize that justice in this country isn’t about right or wrong. It’s about access, knowledge, survival, and money. And most of us never had a fair shot at any of those.

But I made it out. And I’m still healing.

And I’ll keep telling my story piece by piece because I know that silence won’t save us.

But maybe my voice will help someone else feel seen.

Maybe it’ll help someone else realize that this system is operating exactly as it was designed to keep us trapped, not free.

And I’m here to disrupt that.